halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
two words: eviction party
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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