You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
