help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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