I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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