i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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