your parents love me but you hate me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
