We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
