okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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