their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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