It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
