Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
