hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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