I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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