the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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