i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
