Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone shit on the floor
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
