Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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