Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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