4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
