I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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