Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
