your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
