so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
