Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
