You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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