It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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