The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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