That's intense
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
