I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
