that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
