Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
