UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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