I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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