if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
