yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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