Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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