Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
