Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
