i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
