i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
