Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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