Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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