make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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