it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
