I look better un-naked...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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