Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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