I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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