he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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