Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just gargled with NyQuil
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