just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
