I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
