dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
