u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
