Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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