id be glad to
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
