she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
