My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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