Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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