hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize