I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
