Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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