So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
