I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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