Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
