Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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