overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
