I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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