Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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