I wish I only lived at night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
