Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
