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i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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