what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
