I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As shirtless as possible
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
