So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
